Arena
by Sinvisigoth
Summary: Short story featuring Ada as we know her from Servitude, having met Merle under different circumstances. He won't leave her alone; she can't get it through his thick head to stay away from her, and they both just keep messing things up. Merle/OC.
1. Chapter 1

**Arena**

**Merle/OC. Started writing this as a one shot but it got longer than I expected so I split it into a few chapters so you lot didn't have to trudge through a big long mess all at once. Third and final chapter will be posted tonight or tomorrow. OC is Ada as we know her from Servitude, but with the two of them having met in different circumstances. Don't know if I'll write more one off stories but if I do I'll always use Ada as my OC with Merle, simply because I really like her and every extra bit of writing rounds her out as a character in my head, and I'm too lazy to make more than one. Lol. This popped into my head yesterday. Liked the idea of angry, bitter Ada and asshat Merle. Also works as a little trial run to see how I feel about writing in the first person; something I haven't done yet.**

**Explicit, most definitely M. **

**Chapter 01**

**Ada POV**

I stalked past him without a glance, not letting my eyes drop to the hand that rested on the waist of Woodbury's sluttiest barkeep, Cyndi, although my lip curled in a sneer of disgust anyway. Why she didn't object to the lewd comments he fired at me every time he saw me I have no idea. Today was no different. She grinned and laughed like a moron while he eye-fucked and propositioned me for the umpteenth time.

"Hey, sugartits, when're you gonna put that sweet little mouth of yours all over me?" In my peripheral vision I could see his hips thrust toward me purposefully.

"Next time you piss me off enough for me to bite you, you fucking asshat," I snarled, knocking his shoulder aside without breaking my stride. I didn't have time for his shit right now. Or, you know, ever.

This was the three hundred and nineteenth time in the four months since I brought his ass to Woodbury that I had tried and failed to ignore Merle Dixon. Or maybe three hundred and twentieth. No…let's face it, I didn't even try to not punch him for licking me. And although I didn't utter a word, my fist said plenty. It didn't wipe the lascivious smirk from his face, though, or shield my ears from the fact that he thought I tasted like candy. On the contrary, his grin only seemed to grow wider.

That was nothing new, though. From the moment he'd regained consciousness just over a week after sawing off his own hand, he'd done nothing but try to get in my pants. I did, on occasion, find myself yearning nostalgically for the peace I'd have had if I hadn't spent eight days shovelling antibiotics into a dying man.

I had bitten him before, too, just as I'd implied. And kicked him, and broken one of his fingers, and kneed him in the balls, and dug thumbs into various pressure points. The pressure points were particularly fun; a man his size makes a very satisfying thump when he hits the ground. I'd even shot him in the ass once, out on a run, the only time I've heard him squeal like a girl. He still takes a little longer to sit down than he used to; it's almost healed but not quite.

I've learnt many new curse words thanks to my violence against his person. All of this in the service of keeping his goddamn wandering hands off me. Or, should I say, hand. He might as well have four of the damn things for the amount of time he spends trying to grope me, or threatening to. That man gets entirely too much enjoyment out of seeing me squirm.

"Ada, when are you going to stop putting the hurt on that poor man? I'm trying to run a peaceful town here." The Governor smiled softly. I still couldn't figure out whether he was the toad or the prince but at least he kept his hands, and eyes, to himself.

"When he lets go of the notion that I'm his personal goddamn popsicle," I huffed. "He licked me the other day. _Licked_ me. Who the hell does that?"

"Dixon is…an original, I'll give you that."

"You're a born diplomat, Governor. Even if you are a shitty judge of a winning horse." It was the town joke. The Governor staged fights every other night except Sundays - I figure he didn't want to piss off the churchy types. Without fail, he always picked the loser. Sometimes I thought it was because they were the underdog and he wanted them to see someone betting on them. Other times I figured he had so much that he could afford to lose in order to make himself look magnanimous. Either way, with money long obsolete, you'd be surprised how excited people could get over gambling for grain and hops. More than one lucky streak had ousted the previous prize beer maker from their coveted position.

"Speaking of, are you on your way to the arena? I know Martinez is using his opportunity as first challenger to teach. Poor Milton." He shook his head ruefully.

The arena was the Governor's way of keeping us all fighting fit; participation was not optional. The rules were simple: the fights last until someone is unconscious or taps out, the victor chooses their next opponent, and when you're chosen to fight you can't refuse. Oh yeah, and you don't talk about Fight Club. Kidding. There's kinda an unwritten rule, though, that if there's been a disagreement the person you argued with has to be your first challenger. Some choose their opponents based on who they think needs the most help with their fighting, or advancement in the case of the more experienced and skilled fighters. Some choose because they want to beat the crap out of someone, others just because they like the adrenaline rush.

"Yup. I'll probably be about his…" I counted mentally. "Fifth challenger. He still can't get out of the headlock."

As per the rules, the victor chooses their next opponent, and all of the people he'd be teaching would lose. Martinez would do that a few times in succession for a handful of the less skilled fighters and use their rounds to teach them better form or a new move. Until he got tired, when he would then pick someone he couldn't beat. Namely me. Occasionally Dixon or Tyreese, but he chose me more often than not. Said he liked my footwork. He sure didn't like my headlock, but that served the motherfucker right for knocking me out the day I dragged an unconscious Merle Dixon up to their walls. Well, our walls now, I guess.

As I reached the top of the bleachers, Martinez was already nearing the end of his first round. Milton looked terrified and exhausted, but you could always count on him to try harder than anyone. He was like the Little Engine that Could. As I watched him fall on his back when Martinez took his legs out from underneath him, I felt a hard shove from behind me. I turned to find Cyndi looking anything but apologetic, although her ragged, blonde beehive looked pretty fucking sorry. Her arm was looped around Merle's waist and he looked a great deal more entertained than I was.

"Excuse you. You're in my way," Cyndi bitched in her annoying, nasal voice. The malicious look in her eyes made me think she wasn't talking about where I was standing and that maybe she minded Dixon's wandering attention span more than she'd let on.

"Hardly," I sneered. As fucking if. "Ten foot pole…million years…last man on Earth." I counted each on a finger, then dropped them and gave her just the middle one. "Pack up your shit, bar-ho. I'm not in the mood for it." I went to move past her and felt her foot hook mine, trying to trip me up. I turned my step forward into a swift kick to her shin and chuckled when she yelped. It amused me even more that Merle did nothing to help her, just laughed gruffly and waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively. But for some reason that pissed me off a hell of a lot more than what she'd done.

"You sure about that, sweet thing? Way things are going, I'm closer to being the last man on Earth than you might think." He took his hand from around Cyndi and made a grab for me, which I only just avoided. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"How many times do you need to be told to keep your hand to yourself?" I swatted it away as hard as I could, feeling some small satisfaction that he winced just a little.

"Once more, Blondie, always once more." He grinned and wandered off, leaving me and bar-ho both fuming. She gave me a dirty look and hurried after him. I stomped down the bleachers, my fists clenched by my sides and my jaw tight. Martinez caught my eye from the middle of the arena. He'd seen the exchange and raised an eyebrow in question. I shook my head. He nodded, knowing that although I may have calmed down a little by the time we fought, I'd not be able to pull my punches. He looked thoughtful for a second, then gave me an evil little smile and turned to pick his next pupil out of the cheering crowd. He was up to something.

I couldn't sit, wound up as I was, so I stood in the space between the benches, tensing and flexing the muscles in my legs and arms, fists opening and closing. Martinez went through two more challengers, moving slow enough that he could correct their aim and show them what they were doing wrong. He'd speed up gradually, making them combine more and more of the moves he'd shown them, until he could let them practice taking him down with them. Then he'd turn around and take them down with the same combination, to show them why the moves worked. That was be his win, and a new choice to make.

As he took down Sasha with the combo they'd practiced, I started to bounce on the balls of my feet, knowing I'd be after the next one. I shook my head as he brought Cyndi down from the crowd, wondering at the brief glance that passed between he and Merle, who nodded in understanding, looking immensely amused. It didn't matter, soon I could take my anger out in the ring. And Cyndi was handy enough that Martinez would be a little worn out by then. I didn't plan going easy, though.

They started an easy spar before moving things up a notch. She span to kick him and he didn't duck quickly enough, finding himself sat on his ass nursing a solid crack to his jaw. He smiled and took her proffered hand, but knocked her away with a kick to the stomach. He'd pulled it, so it didn't hurt her much, but it did annoy her. She landed five or six pointless blows before he'd had enough of her tantrum and got her in a clinch, which resulted in her dropping to the floor bent over him. Something must have gone wrong, though, as he didn't flip out from underneath her like I'd expected. My jaw dropped when, from among their tangle of limbs, his hand stuck out and slapped three times on the floor of the arena.

He'd tapped out. Sonofabitch tapped out. How in hell am I supposed to get my workout in now? As they both stood, Martinez turned to me and winked, mouthing 'you're welcome'. I had no idea what to do with that until he lifted Cyndi's arm in the air.

"Winner!" Everyone cheered and whistled, making her toothy grin stretch the limits of her face. As was customary, the Governor stepped down from his seat.

"You are the victor. Choose!" He swept his arm over the crowd but Cyndi knew exactly who she was looking for as she swung round to look straight at me.

"I choose…Ada." I looked from her to Martinez to Dixon. Her sneer told me she clearly thought she had some kind of chance at kicking my ass. Martinez was bent almost double clutching his belly as he laughed. So that's what he meant by 'you're welcome'. And Merle, he just facepalmed and chuckled, then rubbed his hand over his face and looked at me with an encouraging smile. Anyone would think he wanted me to win. I shrugged and jogged down into the arena, having already warmed up in the stands.

Cyndi was popping back and forth from one foot to the other, working herself up a good head of steam. She strode forward and pushed my shoulders with her hands and whispered harshly.

"Now we'll see who gets Merle. You should have stayed out of my way, you stupid bitch. Let's see who he wants more when you don't have a fucking _face_."

"I'm sorry?" I was gobsmacked. "Are you _actually high_ right now? Have you paid no attention to the _hundreds_ of times I've told him I don't want his goddamn hands…hand on me? I'm not fighting you for _him_, you fucking idiot. I'm fighting because you picked me." And it's the last bad idea you'll be having today. I shoved her back to her side of the ring.

"Whatever you say, bitch." Cyndi started towards me before the Governor could even announce the fight. From the corner of my eye I saw him shrug and sit down again. She'd thrown away all of the finesse she'd shown in her fight with Martinez and instead charged me like a demented windmill, fists weaving widely.

Different fights flashed through my mind as she lurched up to me: taking the defence position and letting her tire herself out; going on the offence and parrying her clumsy swings with tight, controlled blows to the torso and head; I even considered letting her win to fit in with her godforsaken who gets Merle idea, hoping that Merle would follow suit. But in the end I just didn't have the patience for it. I spun, kicking high and hard.

I looked down at her. She looked a lot less angry unconscious. I, on the other hand, was just getting started. This was all his fault. If Merle Motherfucking Dixon had left well enough alone even half of the times I'd told him to fuck off I wouldn't have just had to fight some jealous bitch who now would likely have it in for me forever. Goddamn him. Icy anger flooded me and I retreated behind a wave of intense focus. I. Have. Had. Enough.

"Ada, you are the victor. CHOOSE!" I only heard the Governor's voice vaguely through the white noise of my concentrated rage. I didn't hesitate.

"I choose Dixon." The room went silent and Merle's eye went wide. In our four months here, he was the only person I hadn't fought. I'd never chosen him, and he'd been wise enough to never pick me. He knew that if he forced the issue of putting his hands on me, even masquerading as battle, I'd have shot him for real once we were done, and that would have been the end of his particular line of entertainment. And, you know, breathing and stuff.

He made his way slowly down between the benches, not taking his eyes off me. His face gave nothing away, but he wasn't even close to being stupid. I was going to serve him his ass on a plate. And he knew it. His only defence…try to rattle me before we started.

"What, you won't fuck me so you figure fighting me will take the edge off?" I tilted my head but said nothing. "Why don't you just admit you wanna put your hands on me, sugar?"

"Oh I do, Merle. Believe me. I do." He looked disconcerted for all of a second before the smirk was back.

"Well, I won't enjoy it as much as I would the other, but it'll be close," he said with a wink. For the first time in our stay at Woodbury, I was successful in ignoring him.

"Move to your sides." The Governor's voice rang out and we moved away from each other.

There was a certain beauty in the way he moved. He was built like a boxer, thick through the chest and shoulders, balanced out with strong legs and a broad back. His brother and he were hunters, I knew that much. But he was more than that; he was a predator. I could see it in the grace and ease of gait, the way his arms hung loose and ready. His economy of movement was absolute.

I was the better fighter. Both of us knew that already. But I wanted to prove a point, not just beat him. If any of the students from my former dojo had been here to see this fight, most would have been surprised at the path I now chose, although some of the ones I'd been teaching the longest would not. They knew how adaptable I was. Sure I could take him out with speed, with grace, with a brevity even more impressive than his own. But it wouldn't taste as sweet. Despite his military training, Merle was a brawler. He'd grown up beaten and turned into a streetfighter. I would beat him not only thoroughly, but in his own style.

I was going to fight dirty.

The surprise showed on his face when I attacked his knees first, the audible crack echoing through the wide space. More so when in quick succession I jabbed four different pressure points and continued with a bevy of open handed smacks on his ears and neck. He roared and charged, realising what I was doing. But his approach wasn't sloppy like Cyndi's had been. He knew exactly where and how he wanted to hit me and did so as brutally and numerously as possible.

I landed my next four blows without breathing, my solar plexus stunned from his flat footed kick.

I couldn't beat his brute strength, but I didn't have to. I kept my hands up close to my face and blocked his next half dozen swipes, sending straight punches at his neck and jaw. He shook his head to clear his vision but I was already attacking the insides of his legs. Tempted as I was to kick him in the nuts, I slipped around him and went for a kidney instead, sending him to one knee briefly. And it was brief; he moved up and around so quickly that he caught me off guard, landing a heavy blow over my heart.

I staggered backward, clutching my chest, only just moving my hands away from my body in time to sweep his leg to the side as his foot came up to land in the same spot.

My advantage was in speed, both moving around him and the number of blows I could land in comparison to how many he could get inside my defence. He must have come to the same conclusion, because he changed tactics and grabbed me in a massive bear hug, picking me up and slamming me to the ground before diving on me with an elbow in my stomach. That shit hurt, I have to admit. And I couldn't afford for this to become a wrestling match.

As he leant across me to grab my wrist up for an armlock, I twisted under him and pushed my hips upwards to throw my legs over his shoulders, dragging him down close to me where I could squeeze his neck between my thighs. He reared up, dragging the bottom half of me off the ground, and it took immense effort to pull my top half up in the air. But it was worth it.

Now in an aerial sitting position I battled to keep his hand and prosthetic from jabbing my ribs. I didn't manage to block them all, feeling a couple crack as the metal stump of his right arm landed solidly in two places. I looked at his face, red with effort and the restriction of blood and oxygen caused by the vicelike grip I had on his neck.

"I can smell you," he growled. His eyes were feral and he brought his arms up behind my hips instead, crushing me against him as he bared his teeth and bit down on a mouthful of the soft flesh between my legs. The heat of his mouth and the sharp pain from his teeth was buffered only by the thin fabric of my pants. I found myself wishing I'd worn jeans, even though they'd have limited my movement.

I released my hold on his neck enough to slip further down his body, swinging forward in one last burst of energy to bring the dome of my forehead to his face. His nose broken, cupped instinctively by one hand and bumped accidentally by what was left of the other, I dropped to my feet to hook a leg through his and grab his good arm, bringing it up behind him. I kept it tight as I bore him to the ground, straddling him in about the same place I'd shot him a couple months earlier.

He was snarling incoherently at me at this point, his hips bucking beneath me like a rodeo bull. He couldn't get any kind of purchase with his stump or his legs, and his only good arm was under tremendous pressure. Not to mention it probably felt like his face was splitting in two. I brought his damaged arm round behind him, too, and placed the blade of my wrist in the middle of the upper arm, using leverage to snap it cleanly through the humerus, then ended the fight with enough pressure on his throat to put him out of it for five minutes.

I rolled off him when he went limp, panting while he lay there breathing as evenly as his broken nose would allow him. I stood and raised my arms above my head, not really feeling like smiling at the cheers and whistles but doing it anyway for their sake.

"Ada, you are the victor…again. If your next choice is not to get the hell out of here and get some rest I'll have someone put you in handcuffs." The Governor smiled widely and I chuckled, dragging my weary carcass across the arena and out through the gate.

I sat on a bench in the middle of the deserted street, listening to the occasional low calls between the guards on the wall. They were far away and I rested my elbows on my knees while my breathing got back to normal. I hurt a good deal; there weren't many places Dixon hadn't hit me. The soft tissue between my legs in particular was feeling bruised. He finally got his wish, I guess…kinda.

I stood and could feel my anger still spiralling inside, calmer now, or at least less…noisy. I was shaking, and my head was going a million miles an hour as it played and replayed every move of the fight. After twenty minutes I heard deliberate footsteps approach me from the direction of the arena. They stopped directly behind me and I hoped they wouldn't be accompanied by their owner's usual crass remarks. I'd done what I needed, and didn't have the energy or composure for more right now.

"Thanks for not breaking my good arm." His deep, rasping voice was loud in the dark street and sounded remarkably sincere. If he'd grabbed me as usual I probably could have found the reserves to handle it. Likewise if he'd made some vile suggestion involving leather and pudding. Or even if he'd licked me again. But the slow, soft kiss he placed on the exposed skin of my neck, no other part of him touching me, was more than I could take. The bottom dropped out of me and I spun around to stare at him, horrified, before hauling back and slapping him across the face as hard as I could.

He said nothing and his expression was blank, but he raised his hand to lay his palm over the angry red hand print on his cheek. I'd done god knows how much violence to this man in the last four months, but I'd never slapped him. I spun around and ran to the wall, slipping out through one of the few hidden weak spots I knew.

The road gave way quickly to dirt track and trees, then thick forest as I hurried along, feeling his mouth on me like a brand still. My breath was coming in frantic gasps and I pushed my legs faster until I reached the clearing I had aimed for. This was mine, just mine, the one place I could come to be without everyone else, without even the sound of them. The moonlight illuminated the deep pool in foxfire and I heard the gurgle of the water falling from a short drop at its edge.

I knelt to slip off my boots and socks, feeling the slippery rock under my bare feet as I walked carefully down to the edge of the pool. I stood with just the very tips of my toes in the water, the difference between its chill and the hot night air making me shiver in delight. At least, I managed to kid myself for a whole two minutes that that's what had made me shiver.

But, in reality, I still couldn't dispel the feeling of Merle's hands, my skin burning where every hit had landed, more so in places he had grasped…and bitten. I crouched on my haunches for a while, trying not to think about it, just running my fingers through my reflection, distorting it until it looked about the same as I felt inside my head. I stood slowly, easing out the aches in every muscle, testing each one individually. My knuckles and the palms of my hands could still feel him under them.

Maybe the water would help.

I stripped off my top and unbuttoned my pants, slipping them down my legs and stepping out of them. Loosing my hair and placing one foot carefully in front of the other, I made my way into the water until it reached just above my knees. This was a natural shelf of submerged rock, and it gave way to the much deeper water of the pool. I took a deep breath and leant forwards, pushing off from my feet to spear into the water hands and headfirst, my hips following last.

It nearly knocked the breath out of me, as did the small flicker against one thigh, a fish that was probably even more surprised than I was. I submerged then rose again with my head leant back, letting my hair stream away from my face. I was an idiot. The cold water didn't numb any of the places where he'd touched me, if anything it brought them out in stark relief. I could feel them embossed on my skin in burning detail. I scrubbed my hands over my face and floated on my back for a while, trying to find the control I needed to let them go.

He wasn't even here and I still couldn't ignore him.

I huffed in irritation and stroked lazily over to the outcropping of round boulders, flattened and smoothed over centuries by the small waterfall. My arms shuddered with the effort of heaving myself out of the water but I managed it in one go, hearing the flat slap as my backside met wet rock. My hair shook silver streams of water into the air and I swung my head around, settling in cold tendrils that plastered themselves around my shoulders.

My hand went unconsciously to the side of my neck as I lay back with my feet poking through the gentle curtain of water that fell the eight or so feet from above. Closing my eyes was a bad idea because, as always, regular Merle with his suggestive smirk and his lecherous comments was replaced by an other. Not another, but _an other_. The other version of him who'd existed in my mind since the moment he'd opened his eyes after eight days of fever and delirious ravings.

I thought of this other as Hidden-Merle, and he came unbidden every time I closed my eyes, surrounding and invading me in the dark. It wasn't that he was everything the real one wasn't, because he was all of that, too. But where Real would leer and try to grab me, Hidden looked at me like I was the only woman on Earth and worshipped my body with every touch. Those eyes…those eyes were the most soulful thing I'd ever seen. The moment he'd opened them my covetous heart had proclaimed him a sovereign kingdom, body and soul, that belonged only to me.

Unfortunately, shortly after that, he opened his mouth and spoke.

So began four months of torture and abject misery. I avoided his touch at all costs because I couldn't trust my traitorous body not to give in to him, leaving my heart to be laid waste to by his inability for finer feelings or any kind of fidelity. It hurt, god it hurt, not to have his touch, but if he broke me I'd never recover. And that was something I couldn't afford in this new world of ours. And so was born Hidden-Merle, my mind's way of giving my heart what it craved without the pain. In my mind's eye, my hand morphed into his as it inched slowly across my skin, stroking down toward the part of me that ached for him every moment of the day.

In the fantasy, I was an Other-Ada, one who welcomed his touch, who pulled him closer instead of knocking him away, whose heart swelled as he plundered her body with rough strokes and tender touches, showing her over and over and over that he belonged to her and only her. On the rocks I rolled my hips beneath a steady trickle of water; in my mind, Hidden-Merle dipped his tongue deep into the secret heart of me, tasting that which was his and his alone, always.

It helped that that part of me now knew the exact temperature of his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Arena**

**Merle/OC. Any Cajuns reading, please excuse my attempt at the Cajun accent and phrasing; it was pretty difficult to find anything definitive online to help me so I've only been able to go by the few I've heard speak and a couple other stories which attempted the accent. Totally my fault if it's fucked up; it might have even ended up sounding more Canadian French than Cajun, but honestly no offence meant. If you have any suggestions for making it better please tell me!**

**Chapter 02**

**Merle POV**

You could have knocked me down with a feather when I heard her say my name. I understood why she'd never chosen me before, and I ain't dumb enough to have ever tried it myself, despite how far I pushed her in every other respect. I don't remember ever feeling unsure before a fight, but the little trickle of uncertainty made me lash out the only way I knew how.

"What, you won't fuck me so you figured fighting me will take the edge off?" She cocked her head and refused to take the bait. "Why don't you just admit you wanna put your hands on me, sugar?"

"Oh I do, Merle. Believe me. I do." I saw the wall slam down behind her eyes and I knew I was in deep shit.

"Well, I won't enjoy it as much as I would the other, but it'll be close," I winked at her and received no response at all. It was then I knew I had seconds to ready myself.

"Move to your sides," said the Governor's. We moved to opposite sides of the ring.

Her lush body was poised to strike, the languid fighter's stance as natural to her as breathing. I anticipated her first moves, having witnessed her tightly controlled bouts a hundred times. But as she kicked swift and low to take my kneecaps out of the fight early I realised just how serious she was, and I felt those initial glimmers of doubt magnify tenfold. Maybe I'd managed to piss her off for the last time.

She was bringing me a streetfight. I recognised the dirty moves and low blows from a thousand fights in my past. Although I was glad that she left my nuts alone, she was still too goddamned fast. Now don't get me wrong, I move very quickly for someone my size; most wouldn't be able to keep up with me. Not so Ada. She moved like lightning, getting past my defences and landing ten blows in the time it would take me to land four. Despite my greater mass, I was pretty sure I was already hurting more than she was.

I already knew she was angry. Enough to be making her hits count to hurt me for real. But I didn't have a clue until she wrapped those sweet legs around my neck in a chokehold that she was helluva turned on, too. The heat of her and…oh God…her scent. I think I spoke but I don't know what I said. The next thing I knew, the smell of her had tipped something in my brain and I lost myself in the red haze of it, biting down on her soft flesh, wanting to devour her.

Pain. Lots of pain. Shitfuck. My face was on fire. And bleeding. How did I end up on the ground? And…hey…you already got my good arm pinned…don't need my bad one as wel-FUCK! Motherfuck. She broke it. Ah Goddamnit, woman, that fuckin' hurt. And…breathing's getting a bit tight here…

I awoke to the less lovely face of our Governor bending over me and a hideous pain in the middle of my face as he used his knuckles to snap my broken nose back into place. About the only time it's acceptable for a man to cry is when his nose is broken. There's no stopping that shit, and those of us who've been there before don't think nothing of letting those tears go unchecked.

"You finally win a bet now, Gov?" I chuckled.

"No." A little twinge of a smile jerked at one corner of his mouth. Well I'll be…motherfucker bet on me.

I can't say I was a very good patient while the Doc was fixing my arm in a splint. But she has enough pointy things at her disposal to guarantee at least semi-good behaviour. Once I was fixed up I put my blade back on my stump and wandered out into the street again, not interested in watching Tyreese and Crowley spar; they were too evenly matched and got boring real fast.

When I saw Ada standing next to a bench over at the end of the street, my feet took me over to her before I'd even thought about whether I felt like baiting her or not. But as I got close I noticed she was shaking and her shoulders were slumped. She'd heard me, I knew, and was probably waiting for me to start shit all over again. Can't say I had the energy and I was pretty sure she wouldn't. Plus, I ain't so ignorant I don't know when a woman's trying to make a point.

I thought about the fight. She'd been fuckin' angry with my ass. Enough to want to hurt me. And she succeeded. But she'd been good enough to leave my nuts and my working arm out of it for the most part. Figure I owed for that, at least, and for all the jokes I'd made at her expense, even if she didn't know I weren't joking. And honestly, some part of me just wanted to take care of her coz she was hurt; didn't matter that it was her that chose it. I'd leant over and landed a kiss on her before I knew what I'd decided.

Her reaction was not what I'd expected.

I patted my jaw thoughtfully as I watched her retreating figure, still feeling the impact of her hand against my face. She'd never hit me like that before. Not once. Not with all the shit I threw at her day after day had she ever slapped me. And she'd never looked like she was about to cry before, either. Must be having one hell of a bad day. Turned it into a bad day for me, too. I ain't ever lost a fight until now. Not sure I like how it feels.

Goddamn but that woman drives me loco. I know she'd never look twice at me, beautiful like she is, and beautiful like I ain't. But I can't help myself; it's like my body thinks she's mine even though she ain't. The fact that it disgusts her stings a little, but the fact that it pisses her off and makes that pretty flush of anger creep up her face makes it all worthwhile. The fact that it pisses off Cyndi, though she don't dare show it if she wants me to keep sticking it to her, just makes for a bonus. Ain't a man alive who don't like angry sex from a jealous woman, even when it's the wrong one.

Any who say different are lying.

I caught the crack of metal on wood as she snuck out through a breach in the wall. Where in fuck does she think she's going at this time of night? Governor will have a conniption if he sees her going beyond the walls after curfew. And he'll beat every sorry bastard on duty if she shows up dead, me included. Best follow her to see that don't happen. And if I catch her doing anything she shouldn't, well I never said I were above blackmail to get that fine beauty in my bed. She'll kill me the second I open my mouth on that score, of course, but the look on her face might just be worth not being able to find my balls for a couple days after.

Jesus but she's helluva quiet. Sneaks better than Daryl I reckon. Although he's not stupid enough to come this far into the woods at night. She starts down a little slope to a pool of water that's pretty well illuminated by the full moon. As she reaches the edge she fumbles her top off, then her jeans, dropping them to the ground. She lets her hair free of its tie and it tumbles around her shoulders and down her back as she steps down to the pool. Even from where I'm hidden I can see her entire body dapple in goosebumps as it registers the temperature of the water; it must be starkly cold against the heat we got right now.

She turns a little to listen intently for a second, and I'm treated to a part side-on view. One full, heavy breast sits above a flat stomach that twists around to a perfect peach of an ass, an ass that drops from wide hips and a waist so small I could almost span it with my hands. Three steps and she's wading lower into the water, until it reaches a little above her knees. When she bends at the waist to dive in I bite my fist at the view I get of the shadowed place between her thighs just before it moves below the surface.

She floats for a while, her beautiful tits turned up to the full moon, but I reckon it ain't doing it for her coz she makes a little noise and swims to the opposite side of the pool to clamber out onto the rocks where the waterfall hits them. I can see the wheels turning in her head as I make my way quiet as a mouse around to her side of the pool, stepping through the trees and trying not to stand on anything that's gonna break and give me away.

I can't help but grin when she spies that one little rivulet that's separate from the rest of the water, and scoots around to position her sweet pussy underneath it, spreading the lips a little with her fingers and jerking as each splash hits her clit, her knees half snapping together again in protest. I knock my head lightly against a tree trunk to keep my focus. This is turning into a show I couldn't have hoped for and I ain't gonna spoil it by letting on I'm out here, too.

Seeming to find an ounce of determination, she spreads her legs at the same time as she stretches her lips wide with her fingers and thrusts upwards, the pitter patter of the water hitting that little bundle of nerves making her shake like a leaf and moan wildly as it batters her. Her throat looks Goddamn beautiful with her head thrown back like that, her soft little mouth open. She starts to circle with her fingertips, using the other hand to grab and squeeze her breasts much more roughly than I'd have ever imagined she'd enjoy, pinching and rolling her pink nipples between her fingers.

I ain't complaining.

I use every bit of my hunter's stealth to creep closer to her to see better. As I move around to her side, at one point I have a straight line of sight right up her body, and at that moment she spreads her legs wide and spears her most secret flesh with one finger, slipping it deep inside her with a roll of her hips.

I ran head and cockfirst into a tree.

Doubled over, groaning as quietly as I can, I cup my instant, rock hard erection with my hand and dig the knife on my stump into the bark of the tree to stop myself from plunging out of the trees and into Ada. But I can hear better, now I'm closer. She's making these little gasps and moans that go straight to my dick, and now and then little disjointed, whispers of words slip out.

"Oh god…yes…yes please…oh…oh…let me watch…that's right…right there…ah yes…spread my legs…fuck me…let me watch you stick it in me…"

I'm almost blind with raging lust at this point but I carry on to a spot only about ten feet away from where she lies and undo my pants so I can stroke myself while I watch her. She's moaning and humming under her breath as her fingers play with her swollen flesh, interspersed with the random bits of dirty talk. Then she says something I didn't expect to hear from her lips. _Ever_.

"Merle!"

As her back arches and she slips three fingers deep inside herself she moans my name. I'm beyond shocked. She continues, though, now interspersing moaning my name between the dirty talk while her fingers pump in and out of her soaking pussy. God I want so badly for it to be me inside her right now, with those trembling legs thrown over my hips and her nails digging into my back. I take two steps towards her before I realise I wouldn't be a welcome sight. She's _begging_ for me, but not me-me, and it's so…goddamn…_hard_ not to go to her. I step back into the shadows, thankful she didn't hear me. By this point I'm pulling on my throbbing cock like I'm trying to crank a fuckin' engine. As she reaches her shuddering climax, her fingers plunging even deeper inside her pretty little pussy, she cries out softly.

"Oh God…Merle…I love you…love you so much."

I fell on my ass and came all over myself, the ground and a tree. Shitfuck. I hope she didn't hear that. I scrambled quickly to get up, cursing under my breath that I now had to pick off bits of leaf stuck to my cock.

I have no fuckin' idea what to think right now.

I keep watching, though. I can't take my eyes of the slow roll of her hips as she comes down from the high. But I wish I hadn't, because once she seems to be back in her head a bit she puts her palms flat over her face, covering her eyes, and starts to cry, thumping the flat of her foot on the rock on which she's lying, and muttering to herself in a shaky voice.

"Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He'll never love you. _Never_. Another notch on the bedpost, that's what you'd be. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ woman." She rolls over onto her side so the curve of her back is facing me, wrapping her arms around herself and crying harder "Don't give in, don't give in, don't give in. Don't let him touch you. Never let him touch you. You can do this. You can do this."

Shell-shocked, I slunk away on silent feet while she continued her melancholy pep talk.

For the first time in longer than I could remember, I felt guilty. Here she was feeling things I'd never guessed and crying about them, and I, the one person who was never supposed to know them, had spied on her, and now knew everything in her heart. A heart that was, apparently, mine. I hurried back into town and barely noticed Cyndi as I passed her, absentmindedly putting out a hand to push her away as she reached me.

"Don't. Don't ever touch me again. Find someone else."

From that day forth I never said a word to her again after that, no matter how much she begged or shouted or cursed. I'd just shake my head and turn away, or push her off me when she tried to take what she wanted. My mind was too full of what I learnt that night.

I started noticing things about Ada in the days that followed, as I watched more closely than ever before. If I looked at her when I was about to go on a run, I could see the worry on her face as she chewed on her thumb knuckle and quickly turned away to be anywhere but where she could see me leave. When I returned she was always there, far in the background but intent nonetheless, her eyes flashing over every inch of me, checking for injuries I realised. One time, when I came back with my side sliced open badly enough that they'd had to carry me out of the vehicle on a makeshift stretcher, the sick look on her face was almost painful, as was the relief when I raised my head a little. Although, of course, her expression turned to blank contempt and icy disdain when she realised I was looking at her.

Toldya. Drove me loco before. Now I'm a twitch and a straitjacket away from a nervous breakdown trying to figure it all out.

I'd find my eyes drawn to her whether she was looking my way or not. When she wasn't, I took my time watching her. I found that it made me smile every time she blew her hair out of her eyes when her hands were full, and annoyed the piss outta me the way she snapped her fingers continuously until she remembered something she'd forgotten.

I was seeing things I'd missed out on for months while I fantasised about her, all the little things she did all day long, like pushing some of her rations onto someone else's plate if they'd worked harder than her that day. Or surreptitiously double checking clips in guns before a group went out on a run. Always concerned with how everyone else was doing. She'd made a point of being friendly with the new addition, Michonne, who seemed to have nothing and no-one, and her winning personality wasn't exactly gonna change that any time soon.

I spent so much time noticing her looking at me like I'm worth something that slowly, insidiously, I started to feel like maybe I was.

It was innocent for the most part, my watching her. And without any kinda interaction. I stopped teasing her so much when I realised how much nicer than her anger her smiles and laughter were. Not that she does much of either, but they show up more often than they used to.

All that changed the day she went on a run with Martinez and a new guy, Crowley.

They'd been gone too long, and we all knew it. It was only supposed to be a couple hours, but this was day two and we were dumping guns in the Jeep, getting ready to go find them, when Michonne called out from her spot on sentry.

"One vehicle. Could be them." She looked at me as she always did. I seemed to be the only person here other than Ada to whom she'd willingly defer.

There was dust kicking up far down the road as a pickup sped towards us. It was the right colour, but there wasn't someone manning the gun on the back like there should be. Like Ada had been when they went out. All we could do was watch and wait the few minutes it took them to reach the walls. Someone ran for the Governor; he'd want to be here whether it was them or not. As it was, it turned out to be both.

The truck stopped at the walls and we tried to peer through the filthy windows. There were splatters of blood on the hood. My gut clenched. I didn't want to think about whose blood it was. The driver's door opened and an arm raised out, the hand clutching a gun in a way that made it look like its owner was surrendering.

A tall stranger stepped out. His body was at ease but his eyes took in everything around him quickly enough that I knew he weren't no amateur. His eyes picked me out of the crowd with similar precision and he nodded slowly, moving sideways and laying the gun on the ground. When he spoke, he directed his words to me while keeping an eye on the movements of the others who were easing out the gate with weapons trained on him and the vehicle.

"Your people had dem some problems, brah." He spoke with a lazy Cajun accent. "Remi brung dem back for you. But tink you gonna be needing to get dem a doctor quick."

"You're Remi?" He nodded. "Merle Dixon. You got all three of our people in there?"

"You're Merle? Oui. Two injured, and one he be tied up in de back." There were clicks as a few safeties were released.

"Why you tie up one of our people, amigo?" I jumped down from the wall to stand in front of him. He had three inches on me but was rangy rather than built.

"He de one dat hurt your man and woman, brah. Not hurt her on purpose maybe. But he panic when de big guy got mad and smack him wid de rifle, knock him out." He opened the back door and eased an unconscious Martinez out. I might have known it would have been Crowley who'd panic and fuck things up.

I motioned two of the onlookers beside me to take Martinez to the med bay, turning back to the new arrival as they lugged him away.

"Help me, brah. Ma 'tite chat here in worse shape dan he is. And she keep asking for you."

"For me?" My eyebrows shot up, although perhaps given what I'd witnessed I shouldn't have been surprised.

"Merle. Dat's all she say. She has a fever."

"Fever? What the fuck d'he do to her?" I could feel my blood pressure rising at the thought of her badly hurt.

"De stupid capon he done shot her." I saw red.

He didn't get another word out and only just had time to step back out of my way as I raced around to the back of the pickup. I was up on the flatbed in a flash and suddenly had a terrified Crowley by the neck, shaking him and snarling in his face.

"What'd you do? What the fuck did you do to her, you _dumb_ fuckin' asshole?"

I realised Remi was stronger than he looked when he dragged me and Crowley both off the flatbed, one in each hand. Crowley stood completely still in his grip, scared out of his mind as I raged at him. Remi shook me by the scruff of the neck to get my attention.

"Time for dat later, brah. Your woman need de doctor _now_. Help me get her out. You can bust dis capon in a liddle while."

"She ain't mine," I grumbled, shrugging his hand off. Remi just chuckled, slapping me on the back and dumping Crowley on the ground, where he wisely stayed put.

I bent inside the back of the pickup to see Ada draped across the seat, a wadded up shirt tied to one shoulder, soaked through with blood. My heart almost stopped. Her skin was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and she was as white as a sheet apart from two spots of red high on her cheeks, a sign of the fever Remi had spoken about.

"Get around the other side and open the door. We'll have better luck pulling her out that one." Remi nodded and moved to the other side of the truck, easing the door open so he could catch her limp body as it fell. I couldn't help the growl that rumbled from my chest at the sight of his hands on her.

"Not your woman, brah? Sure ting. Say it enough times maybe even Remi believe you." I grunted and he shook his head in amusement, chuckling as he pulled her slowly out of the vehicle. I followed, holding her legs as I scooted across the seat and out the door. Remi said nothing as I scooped her out of his arms and into mine.

The Governor made an appearance then, striding toward us as I carried Ada in the opposite direction. I didn't slow down or look up from Ada when I spoke to him.

"New guy's cool. Cuff Crowley in the lodge until I get back."

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna kill him." I looked him dead in the eye then. He stopped for a second, then nodded and motioned to Remi.

"Bring Crowley. We'll get acquainted at the same time." I heard Crowley protest as I walked away so I assumed Remi had grabbed him again.

The doctor already had Martinez on a gurney when I got to the med bay, and I laid Ada on the next one.

"She's been shot, Doc." She dropped the paperwork she was holding and hurried to Ada's side.

I felt a little sick when she peeled back the wadded fabric, exposing a ragged hole high in Ada's shoulder that was already beginning to swell with infection.

"At a guess, this happened only a few hours after they left yesterday and hasn't been cleaned. That's why she's feverish."

"Is it through and through?"

"No. The bullet grazed her collar bone and lodged somewhere behind it. And there's scraps of fabric in the wound from her t-shirt."

"Jesus fuckin' Christ. The idiot shot her and didn't even clean it?" The Doc looked down anxiously and I saw that my fingers were gripping the side of the gurney so hard that my knuckles had gone white. I eased up, not wanting to make her nervous, especially as she'd have to dig a bullet out of the woman I…out of Ada.

"She's lost a lot of blood, Doc."

"She'll need a transfusion. But according to her paperwork…shit." She looked up at me, almost cringing.

"What?" I ground out through clenched teeth.

"She has the second rarest blood group, AB positive. Only two people in Woodbury are a match for her."

"I'm not gonna like this, am I?"

"Crowley is one…" She didn't even bother finishing the sentence.

"Hell. Fuckin'. No." I crossed my arms and stared at her, daring her to assume I didn't mean what I said.

"You're the other." The silence dragged out uncomfortably. Finally I sighed.

"And she's not going to like that." I dragged my hand over my face. "It'll have to be me, Doc."

"But if she'd prefer Crowley-"

"She can prefer what she wants," I snapped. "It ain't happening. She can curse me 'til she's blue in the face when she wakes up, but ain't no way the asshat that shot her is saving her. Not today. Not any fuckin' day." The doc sighed and nodded.

"I need to clean the wound, get some antibiotics into her and stop the initial bleeding before assessing how much blood she'll need while I remove the projectile. Come back in half an hour; she's not going anywhere." I nodded and headed straight out the door. I had an idiot to work over. Reckoned I could do that in under thirty minutes.

As I reached the Governor's lodge, I could hear heated voices inside. One was Crowley, the other was Remi. The Governor interrupted calmly every now and then. When I got inside, I saw Crowley cuffed to a chair with the Governor leant back against the table in front of him and Remi pacing the room like a caged animal. I felt a surge of gratitude toward him for sticking in Ada's corner while I was at the med bay and she weren't awake to tell her side.

"Don' lie to me, you. I saw what happen." Crowley went white as Remi pointed a finger at him. "Dis capon left de other two to fight off twenty biters, den shot de woman when she scream at him to help her coz he couldn' be bothered to aim proper at the thing tryin' to eat her."

"I didn't mean to! I swear I didn't! I was trying to help! She wouldn't get out the way."

"How was she supposed to do dat? Damn biter had a hold on her." Remi cuffed him lazily around the head, which for some reason seemed far more intimidating than just up and punching him. The Cajun's self possession was impressive to say the least. I figure we're gonna get on just fine.

"I killed it didn't I? Soon as she dropped I got it in the head."

"Lot of good that did her," I growled, grabbing the back of his chair and dragging him and it outside where I tipped him face first in the dirt so I could slash at the ropes on his wrists and hurl the chair away. "You didn't even clean her fuckin' wound. Get up, asshole." I dragged him to his feet and knocked him straight back down again. And picked him up, and knocked him down. His face was getting redder, and so was my vision.

"Jesus, Merle, stop! For Christ's sake stop! It wasn't my idea-" He stopped, realising what he'd said. My hand stilled, hovering over his face.

"And exactly whose idea was it, Crowley?" I asked quietly.

"I…I didn't mean that, I just meant-" He was shaking like a leaf and I could see his eyes rolling wildly from side to side, desperately trying to find someone who would help him.

"WHOSE IDEA?" I lowered my body to cage his until I was propped over him, my stump and my hand in the dirt either side of his head as I bent low.

"C-Cyndi's," he stuttered, the blood draining from his face, which made his pooling bruises look strange. I couldn't move. I could feel every muscle straining to the point of snapping, the tendons in my neck as taut as the wires on a suspension bridge as I chewed through the idea that Cyndi had asked this man to kill Ada.

"Mother_fucker_." I saw the moment Crowley gave up. So did the thing inside me.

"Don' do dat," said Remi, putting a hand on the Governor's arm to stop him coming closer. "Dat ain't Merle. Dat his monster. And ain't no talking to it. Dat man was dead de moment he agreed to hurt her."

Cyndi. Cyndi Cyndi Cyndi. She wasn't here…but the weapon she'd aimed at Ada was right…in…front of me. I roared incoherently and my vision blurred as I brought my fist down again and again and again.

I came out of it to the sight of Remi's face peering into mine with a knowing look. Behind him I saw the bloody mess of Crowley's body. He wasn't going to be getting up again.

"Maybe she not yours, brah. But you hers sure enough." He patted my shoulder. "Get back to her. We take care of dis."

I nodded numbly and made my way back to the med bay, my body still shaking both with the magnitude of what I'd just done and my complete lack of remorse over it. The doc looked up as I walked in the door. One look at my hand and she waved me over to the sink to clean up.

"There's a large vein that's been torn," she said conversationally. "I know you hate the idea, but we may need Crowley after all. Just in case."

"Too late for that, Doc. He's dead and ain't gonna be no _help_ to no-one ever again." She heard in my tone that there was much I wasn't saying, but she put it together with the blood all over me and came up with four all the same.

"In that case…well given your current state I doubt I'll have to give Ada any additional adrenaline." She shook her head, her eyes closed. Probably cursing me inwardly for having killed the only other potential blood donor. I suddenly flashed cold. My temper might have just put Ada in even more danger. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"Hop up on the other gurney, I'll get it started in a second. I'll have to use your broken arm. You OK with that?"

"Might as well be useful for a change." She chuckled and fetched a tray of tubes and needles.

She put needles in mine and Ada's arms, connected by thin tubing. Near where it entered my body was what looked like a small spigot.

"OK, I'm going to start looking for the bullet. I want you to watch that clock on the wall and twist that little thing to the open position for thirty seconds every five minutes. We need to be frugal, but she's going to need the regular transfusions. Can you handle that?"

I nodded and watched as she dragged a stool next to Ada's gurney, positioning an overhead lamp to shine on the bullet wound. She held forceps and a probe poised above Ada's pale flesh, ready to begin.

"OK, Merle. Do the first twist now. Leave it thirty seconds, then turn it off. Wait four and a half minutes, then repeat. There are juice boxes next to you. I want you to drink a few mouthfuls every time you turn it off." She turned back to Ada before I could respond and I twisted the little knob to the open position, watching the blood flow down the tubing and the clock count down the thirty seconds.

I didn't feel any different at first and simply watched the doc as she gently probed the wound, dropping small pieces of bloodstained fabric into a metal dish. After twenty minutes, though, and four twists, I felt…not lightheaded…but just a little less than normal. After forty, I was feeling decidedly nauseous and I wondered how much blood was moving from me into Ada each time I turned the knob. I tried to raise my head to ask the doc but found that it wanted to stay exactly where it was. When I opened my mouth to speak I was interrupted.

"Shit."

"What…what's up, Doc?" I giggled. Wait…I don't giggle.

"The damage to the vein is greater than I thought. I'm having trouble stopping the bleeding because she's lost too much. She doesn't have the blood pressure to keep it filled for me to work with."

"Well get the bullet out for fuck's sake! Work quicker!"

"If I work quicker I could kill her. It's a small jagged nick in the base of the bullet that caused the damage. I need to find a way to grip it and pull it out without that same part moving across the vein again."

"It's my fault…" Since when was I prone to maudlin ramblings? "If I hadn't beaten that guy to death I could have drug him in here and drained him for her. My goddamn pride…"

"Merle, there's nothing you can do now. Just be quiet for now while I do this. I need to concentrate."

I shut the hell up.

I turned my head to the side to look at Ada. There was no colour in her at all and her lips were starting to turn a little blue. Fear slammed into me and I wheezed in frustration, unable to just get the hell up and fix her, fix anything. This woman…this woman I'd started thinking of as mine was going to die, all because I couldn't control my goddamn temper.

I felt something wet trickle down my face. I knew what it was and, strangely, I didn't care. It and my pride and my whole sorry ass paled into insignificance compared to her. I looked down at my arm where the tube entered it. I don't know how much I'd already given but, really, is there any amount I wouldn't give if it'd give her a few more minutes, a few more hours? I choked back a sob and reached for the knob with clumsy fingers.

Every expression I'd ever seen on her face flashed behind my eyes. I wanted to see her smile, not just because, but _at_ me. That was becoming more unlikely by the second. But maybe I could at least make sure that she smiled because of me, or just at all. I gripped the knob and turned it to the open position, letting my hand fall back to my side.

I closed my eyes, counting past thirty seconds, past sixty, hearing the doc's little noise of triumph as Ada's blood pressure increased exponentially. I struggled to raise my eyelids again. Two minutes, three, the clock ticked on. I turned to look at Ada one last time. The last thing I saw as the black fog invaded my vision was the horrified realisation on the doc's face as she turned to look at me, a bullet gripped firmly in her forceps.

I smiled and whispered goodbye to Ada.

* * *

><p><strong>OK don't kill me. Chapter three will be up later or tomorrow to finish up the story. Hope you like Remi, who is based on a very wonderful and dear friend of mine, one of the few people in the world in whom my affection and trust are absolute. He will show up in Servitude at some point later in the story.<strong>

**Ma 'tite chat – my little cat**

**Capon - coward**


	3. Chapter 3

**Arena**

**Merle/OC. And no, I have no idea whatsoever why I set this in Woodbury. I blame the pixies. Fornit some fornus! (Stephen King fans will understand).**

**I should have known better than to promise this chapter the next day when there was Christmas stuff to get ready for. Sorry about the delay. Final chapter, and I'm back on Servitude with a vengeance now I've got this out of my system.**

**Chapter 03**

**Ada POV**

"Don't move!" was the first thing I heard when I woke up, struggling. "Ada, hang on I said don't…shit."

"Wh-what happened?" It was a slow and painful process opening my eyes. The doc stood over me, her shirt missing a couple buttons and hanging off one shoulder as she held a stethoscope to my chest.

"You have to calm down, Ada. Please, I need you to get your heart rate down."

"Why am I here? I know I'm hurt, I feel it, but I don't remember…" Oh dear god…my shoulder. I think someone shot me with an anti tank missile.

"Something happened on your run the day before yesterday. Crowley…shot you."

"Shit." I scrunched my face up as the image of his gun discharging hit me with full force. "Yeah…he did. He ran off and left us to deal with a herd, and when I started shouting at him he turned around and shot me. Man, what an asshole."

"The bullet was stuck in your shoulder and he didn't clean the wound. You were running a fever when you got back yesterday."

"Doc, I know this is going to sound strange but…I don't think it was an accident. I think he might have shot me on purpose."

"He did." The doc's mouth was set in a grim line.

"I knew it! Why?" I barely knew the guy; that's the part that didn't make sense.

"Cyndi put him up to it."

"Cyndi!" That miserable fucking bitch.

"Calm down! Shit. Hang on, I need to get you unhooked here before I tell you any more. There's no chance we're going to be able to keep your heart rate steady."

I watched as the she slid small tubes out of a vein in each arm, tiny, perfect drops of blood beading on the skin, which she covered with bandaids. My eyes followed the tubes to their limits, where they were attached to the last person I'd have expected. Merle. I looked at the doc, puzzled, as she pressed the tubes, sending the remaining blood back into him before removing the needles from his arms.

"Why the hell am I hooked up to Dixon?"

"There were only two matches for your blood type in the town, Merle and Crowley."

"I take it Crowley didn't volunteer?"

"He was…unavailable." I didn't miss that pause; she was hiding something.

"Why was he unavailable?" I met her gaze and kept mine steady. She gave in first.

"Merle beat him to death." I felt my eyes widen impossibly. Doc looked over at him.

"What! Why?" She just looked at me like I was stupid. I felt my face flush and looked away. I didn't want to think about the fact that beating a man to death took a depth of feeling more complex than just wanting to get laid.

"I'll let you figure that out. Let's just say no-one was surprised that he did it."

"What about Merle? What's wrong with him?"

"There were complications with retrieving the bullet in your shoulder. Merle was hooked up to give you very small, regular transfusions at five minute intervals. The idea was to keep you ticking over without him losing too much blood. But when things went wrong, and you had only minutes left, he…"

"He _what_, Doc?" I shot out a hand and gripped hers to stop her turning away.

"He opened the damn thing up and tried to give you all of it." She ignored my shocked expression and continued. "I only realised when your blood pressure started getting stronger than it should have. It helped me get the bullet out and fix you, but it almost killed him." My heart almost broke as she said that. I couldn't believe that he had done that for me.

"I rigged up another tube from you to him and turned the two of you into a sort of mutual bypass machine, four lungs and two hearts powering one bloodstream, feeding both bodies. If you feel a little high it's because his lungs are bigger than yours so the blood's more oxygenated than you're used to. Right now, the both of you are running on a completely fifty-fifty mix of his and your blood."

"So…he's…part of me…and I'm part of him." The concept was dizzying.

"The way he was acting…I think he thought that was the case anyway." She gave me a weary look. I had no answer to that so I closed my eyes and let myself sink past the pain and back into blessed sleep.

When I woke again the she was nowhere to be seen and Merle was still lying peacefully on the other bed. I tried to get up but the wires Doc had attached to me got tangled. It took me a little time to get all of them off me, and my shoulder didn't enjoy a single second of it. But with no small effort, I finally managed to feel the floor under my feet. I almost joined them on it, but for the grab rail on the bed, and I was glad that Doc wasn't here; my only witness was an unconscious redneck.

It took some strategic propping myself up on various things and a lot of shuffling but I finally made it over to where Merle lay. This was the most peaceful I'd ever seen him, no frown, no suspicious gaze flitting everywhere at once, trying to keep track of whatever might be coming to screw him over next. The stubble on his chin and cheeks was longer than he'd normally allow, and his skin was dry, but his breathing was shallow and even. I leaned a little closer, taking in every line of his face, and couldn't help reaching up with one hand to touch him.

I stroked his cheek with the back of my fingers, feeling the smooth skin under my knuckles give way to coarse stubble. My heart was pounding in my chest; I hadn't thought I'd ever get to touch him like this. I probably never would again, so it was worth the risk. I felt the lump in my throat grow as I thought about what he'd done for me, and a tear escaped, splashing on his cheek. I wiped it away slowly and cupped his face, loving the feel of him under my hand.

"Why'd you do it, you stupid redneck?" I whispered. "Not that I've given you any reason to know that I'd die if you did. But you gotta take better care of yourself. Who would I argue with if you weren't here any more huh?" I laid my cheek against his for a moment before bringing my lips to his in a soft kiss. "Probably never gonna get to do that for real so don't hold it against me."

The doc chose that inopportune moment to return and I smiled guiltily.

"Ada, what are you doing out of bed? You could have passed out again."

"Just wanted to see how he was doing." I realised my hand was still resting on his chest but left it there seeing as she'd already seen it.

"He's just fine. Might take him a bit longer to get back on his feet but there haven't been any problems since his blood pressure stabilised last night."

"When will he wake up?" I asked, my eyes tracing over his face as I tried to memorise everything while I still could.

"It could be any time now. His pressure's stable, but it knocked him sideways. And I'm the lucky fucker who gets to figure out to keep Merle Dixon from getting out of bed for another twenty-four hours."

"I don't envy you that." I chuckled, giving Merle one last, quick kiss on the cheek and going to stand up. But the small grumble that left his lips sounded a lot like my name and I froze, still bent over him.

**Merle POV**

It took a few minutes to make sense of things, but I drifted awake in time to hear the doc talking to Ada and then leave. I heard shuffling and a thump as Ada tried to navigate the perils of getting out of bed. If I hadn't been so determined to play possum I'd have allowed myself to laugh. And probably gotten hit in the nuts, but it would have been worth it. The joke was on me, though, as I found out just how worth it it was to keep my eyes closed when I felt a small hand touch my face.

Her knuckles brushed my cheek and I suddenly found myself very glad that I wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor. And that my blood pressure still wasn't high enough for me to get a hard on; that shit felt downright weird, I can tell you. Don't think I'd have been able to pass it off as morning wood at this time of day, either.

I felt like a total shit when I felt moisture on my skin. Don't cry for me, darlin', I ain't even close to being worth your tears. And that ain't likely to change any time soon. Her voice was husky when she spoke; I'd have jumped out of my skin at how close to me she was if I hadn't been so relaxed from feeling her touching me.

"Why'd you do it, you stupid redneck?" Because it was Tuesday. Because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Because my left nut thought there was going to be a tornado. Because I'm a fucking idiot who couldn't stand the thought of a world that didn't have you in it. Well…shit. OK, but if she asks we're going with the tornado theory. "Not that I've given you any reason to know that I'd die if you did." Where the fuck did all the oxygen go? "But you gotta take better care of yourself. Who would I argue with if you weren't here any more huh?" Fuck you taste good. I bet you taste beautiful all over. "Probably never gonna get to do that for real so don't hold it against me." I'll hold a lot more than that against you. Wait, come back…do that shit again. Goddamnit.

The click of the door announced the doc's return. Fucking great timing, Doc.

"Ada, what are you doing out of bed? You could have passed out again." Don't move her, Doc; she can pass out on top of me. I won't even sneak a peek under her gown; selfless like that, I am.

"Just wanted to see how he was doing." Her fingers flexed guiltily where they lay on my chest but didn't disappear.

"He's just fine. Might take him a bit longer to get back on his feet but there haven't been any problems since his blood pressure stabilised last night."

"When will he wake up?" Damn. Forgot about much do I tell her I heard?

"It could be any time now. His pressure's getting back to normal slowly, but it knocked him sideways. And I'm the lucky fucker who gets to figure out to keep Merle Dixon from getting out of bed for another twenty-four hours."

"I don't envy you that." Hello…the lips are back. My mouth's over here darlin'.

Ah fuck it, I gotta 'wake up' at some point, might as well be now. I do like making her go all pink. I'd had enough of being talked about like I wasn't here anyway so I gave a small groan. Damn I'm good at this shit. I should be on Broadway. If it isn't, you know, crawling with walkers. Still, even they'd have a better chance of clapping than I would.

"You're awake!" Her voice rose a notch and as I opened my eyes hers flashed wide. She was still bent over me, her face inches away from mine. She straightened up quickly, her cheeks flushing a dark red, but not before I had the pleasure of imprinting every minute feature of her face indelibly on my memory.

"If I'd known all I had to do to get you to kiss me was save your life I'd have shot you myself months ago." She facepalmed and groaned before shuffling uncomfortably and meeting my eyes again, which seemed impossibly difficult for her. But at least she seemed to think I'd only caught the kiss on the cheek and none of the stuff before that. I wouldn't correct her…for now.

"Uh…thanks…Merle." She seemed close to passing out again, she was that embarrassed.

I took pity on her and put a lid on the teasing, instead bringing the backs of her fingers to my lips and kissing them gently, which only served to increase the amount of colour rushing to her face.

"Nice to see you making such good use of my blood there, darlin'," I whispered. She ducked her head, a tiny smile on her lips. Then, for just a moment, the walls fell away and a small smirk appeared, her eyes meeting mine, and I got a glimpse of the strong, funny, sarcastic woman who loved me. She was gone again a second later, the walls slamming back into place, but I hadn't imagined it and my heart hammered against the inside of my chest.

I held onto the hand I'd kissed, waiting for her to pull it away, but she didn't. She looked terrified, but she swallowed and tightened her grip a little, looking away and then down at the ground, anywhere but at me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the doc look between the two of us and then edge very quietly out of the room. Smart thinking, Doc.

"So…uh…we should probably…talk about this…some time." I cleared my throat. Apparently I ain't nearly as good at this shit as I am at playing dead. "Ain't something I'm good at, but think we need to all the same." She took her hand back then, crossing her arms defensively across her chest, which is kinda clumsy when one's in a sling. "Unless you want to kiss me again, maybe a little lower, coz I sure wouldn't complain." Oops. One step too far.

"For christ's sake, Dixon, for _once_ can you just leave it alone! Does it not occur to you that I might not have the energy to handle your fucking teasing right now?" She paused for a second, a sick look coming over her face. "Oh, but of course, you know exactly that. That's why you're doing it. Think maybe you might be able to find a soft spot while I'm vulnerable. Well fuck you for stooping that low." She whirled around as quickly as her current state would allow.

"Goddamn it, woman, can't I just want to talk to you without you assuming I have an ulterior motive?" This shit was starting to piss me off.

"No," she said emotionlessly, stooping to rummage through a bag on the floor.

"Fer Christ's sake, I just saved your life. We're even now. Doesn't that count for-"

"Oh…my god. That's what it was about? Of course it was! I saved you from that roof and you just couldn't fucking let it go could you? You know the old adage that saving someone's life makes you responsible for them is complete and utter bullshit, right?"

"Well, I gotta admit, I'm pretty happy to still be alive and have all my parts in working order, if you know what I mean. Which is kinda your doing-"

"I'm not responsible for your goddamn happiness and I sure as _hell_ am not responsible for your daily quota of orgasms!"

"Well you're the cause of most of them whether you like it or not!" Oh…that was bad. Very bad. She was opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish. If she'd been a cartoon she'd have had steam coming out of her ears and been making that train whistle sound. Well, she was pretty close to doing that second part. Did almost dying again make my ears more sensitive or some such shit?

Then…she just shut down. The anger went, the high pitched voice. Everything went back behind those damn walls and fuck if that didn't scare me just a little. She bent down and rummaged in the tray that held both our stuff, for some reason the fact that included all our clothes not registering.

"I'm borrowing your gun. Thanks for saving my life and shit." She stumbled out through the door and slammed it behind her. I didn't even get a chance to tell her her panties were the only thing stopping her ass from hanging out the back of her hospital gown. Someone would be in for a treat. Fuck if I weren't jealous of whoever it might be.

I think I just fucked up monumentally.

Half an hour later I heard a gunshot and wondered who'd been on the receiving end of it. I wasn't exactly top of anyone's need to know list right now, though, and I didn't have the energy to argue with the doc much when she told me to keep my sorry ass in bed, so it wasn't until Remi came to visit me the next morning that I found out.

"Hey, amigo, you come to get my sorry ass outta here?"

"Ayuh. Figure you be feelin' like a change of scenery. De doc she say I can take you back to your place now."

"Smart lady. Knows better than to think either of us'd wanna stay once we were awake. Where'd Ada go anyway? She took my gun and I heard a shot a bit later."

"Oh, dat. Ayuh, she came to de bar and drag Cyndi outta dere with a gun to her head. Seemed awful pissed you almost died, brah." I just grunted. Sure didn't seem it when she left. "She took Cyndi to de wall and told dem to open de gates. She fire de gun at her feet to get her moving. Sent that woman out in the dark with nothing. She turn up dis morning at de wall again, trying to get back in. Only not alive dis time."

I shook my head. That was a hell of a way to go. I was impressed Ada had had it in her to go through with it, although I'd have probably done the same.

"Was she still wearing her hospital gown with her ass hanging out the back?" I took the Cajun's slight smirk to mean that she had. I groaned; I couldn't believe I'd missed out on that.

"The Governor went along with it?" Remi nodded, although I could see something was troubling him.

"I can't stay here, brah. Your Governor, he say de right tings and he do de right tings…but dere something about him dat just ain't right. He got a lot going on up here" he pointed to his head "dat he don't show any of you. And it's gonna get loose. Don' tink I wanna be here when it does. And if you're smart, and I tink you are, you won't wanna be either." He fixed me with a hard look. It hadn't ever bothered me any, but I'd always wondered if the Gov might be a little close to the edge, and felt a sight better knowing that someone as experienced as Remi seemed to be could see it, too.

"I can't up and leave right now, man. Maybe in a couple weeks, but not right now. Wrongun or not I owe him."

"I get dat, man. De guys come back today talking about a prison some ways from here, some other group. I'm gonna check it out. If you get out, come find it. If dey don' let me stay, I'll tell dem to tell you which way I go."

"What if they don't let you stay but they do let me stay?"

"Da fuck you say. I'm prettier dan you. Ain't gonna turn Remi away and keep you." He dodged my half hearted swipe at his head.

"Fuck you, Cajun. Ain't nothin' prettier than a Dixon. Even my brother Daryl is prettier than you. Actually he's prettier than me, too, but I wouldn't ever tell him that." Remi just shook his head and grinned.

"Come on den, pretty boy. I get you home den I be on my way."

"Lead on, amigo."

"You wanna get dressed first?"

"Shit."

"I wait outside." He stole my last juice box and fucked off.

I dressed hurriedly. For hurriedly read staggering around on shaky legs, only one of which seemed to be mine, trying one-handed to put on clothes made entirely out of straitjackets. Some time later, and a sight less dignified than I'd hoped, I strolled my ass out the front door wearing pants and an inside out t-shirt.

"You hear shouting, brah?" Remi turned his head this way and that until he pinpointed the source of the noise. I followed along behind him, trying to ignore the stones poking in my feet. I hadn't had much luck with that area, seeing as it involved balancing and bending over at the same time.

Fuck shoes, man. Just…fuck them.

**Ada POV**

If I hadn't already drunk a fifth of Scotch, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be sneaking into the Governor's private stash looking for more, something to do with the vagaries of necessity and lowered inhibitions…and possibly judgement. In my defence, it had been dark when I started drinking and my shoulder had hurt a lot. Which it now didn't. And I happen to like the sunrise. So I just kinda kept going. Hey he has nice chairs. Very…sittable.

I lowered myself slowly onto one of the beautifully upholstered chairs, only to find it had moved eight inches to the right by the time my ass reached the space my eyes had told me it inhabited. Oh, chair, you tease. You know you want this fine ass all over you.

The floor is hard and the dust bunnies are starting to gang up on me.

I…fuck…I can't get up. And there's shouting. There shouldn't be shouting. It should be illegal. Not that there's laws any more, but if there were, there should be one about shouting near drunk people. It's confusing and makes me want to hit things. Or tickle them. But I'm pretty sure I mean hit. Or is that hic?

Then Michonne and the Governor burst through a door and start rolling around on the ground trying to…I'm not sure what they're trying to do. I don't think they're making out, the noises aren't right, but what else would they be doing? Don't hurt my chairs! I flung my arms protectively around one and dropped my Scotch. Duck it.

And apparently I said that out loud because it distracted the Governor and gave Michonne the opportunity to do something kinda nasty with a big piece of glass. Holy shit. Right in the eyeball. That had to hurt. Plus, her hand was cut to shit. I wouldn't want to leap to conclusions or anything but I'm fairly sure they're not making out.

It was the worst timing possible, and Michonne was probably in a lot of pain, but looking at the Governor's mangled eye, all my drunken brain could think was _yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me_. The song in my head stopped at the same moment Michonne brought her sword down, splitting his head in two.

OK this just got a little too real. And red. But my chair is safe so I'm feeling irrationally optimistic.

"So…" I started not really sure where to go from there. "I'm guessing kiss and make up is outta the question?" Michonne just looked at me with this really empty expression so I did the only thing I could think of and burst into tears.

I'd been drinking because I was really sad about something, I knew that much. I couldn't remember what, which was good because that was the whole point. But I was sobering up far more quickly than I wanted to and then I'd remember and then I'd have to feel sad sober as well as dealing with the fact that the chair didn't seem to reciprocate my deep and abiding love. Or maybe it was something else that didn't. I couldn't be sure at this point.

My brain cleared up when Merle and the tall guy burst through the front door.

Oh…crap. Hello sobriety. And the not so fond memory of getting caught kissing Merle. By Merle. Who, by the way, looked like he was having almost as much trouble standing as I was having sitting. He's so pretty.

"You can't have my chair." He looked confused but bypassed me to speak to Michonne.

"What the fuck did you do? And why? Christ, Michonne, what in hell is going on?"

"He had his walker-daughter in a cage back there. All I saw was a little girl who needed to be at peace. But he couldn't see it. He thought she could come back. I think that's why he's been having Milton do all those experiments. He lost his mind when I put her down, tried to kill me."

OK my head's feeling disgustingly clear right now. I didn't even know the Governor had ever had a daughter, yet he'd been keeping her animated corpse in a secret room while he made nice with us all. I think I'd like to throw up now.

"What the fuck's wrong with Ada? Did you bring her here?"

"No, she was just sitting there on the floor when we came into the room. I think she's pretty much been drinking since she threw Cyndi out of town yesterday."

"Oh…fuck." Oh _now_ he pays attention to me. Not that I mind seeing the way his thigh muscles bunch up as he crouches next to me. I wave at the tall guy so he doesn't feel left out. "Ada, have you been drinking?" I nodded. "Why?"

"My chair. Doesn't love me back. Or something like that. I can't really remember. But I'm floaty, which is better than hurty."

"Yer a sloppy lush is what ya are, woman. Ain't you got more sense than to mix booze and antibiotics?"

"I'm going to go with…no?"

"Fuck sake, this is not the time." He scrubbed his hand over his face wearily.

"I'm perfectly sober now. His head did that." I pointed at what was left of the Governor

"I hate to break it to ya, darlin', but you're a long way from sober yet." He looked like he wanted to knock me out and hug me all at the same time. "Can you get up?"

"Also a no." I'm not frikken Wonder Woman here, you know.

"Then ya ain't sober. Come on." He made a clumsy attempt at hooking his arms under mine to drag me upright. We got halfway there, then Michonne had to help. "Ada! Fuck it. Woman, we're getting out of here. Get yer ass in gear."

"What? Get your hands off me! Why the fuck do I have to go with you?" Don't listen to me; I'd go anywhere with you. Don't leave me.

"Because we have to fucking leave! Now! And I can't live without you! I won't live without you!" he screamed in my face, his chest heaving and his eyes spiteful with honesty. I'd never seen him so vulnerable. He touched my face, once, briefly, with all the tenderness I'd longed for, then grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me to the door. "Even given your disgusting fuckin' state right now, I am damn well not going anywhere without you. And seeing as I am leaving, so are you. Now as much as I'd like to expand on that, we really do have a fuckin' elsewhere to be."

And that's how I came to be carried through the town over Remi's shoulder at a ridiculously early hour, while Merle hobbled along behind us, the beginnings of gunfire starting behind us as we went.

I remember grinning dopily at Merle as Remi slung me into the back of a vehicle before grabbing another for him and Michonne. But it had disappeared by the time I awoke to find myself stuck in a humvee with Merle and a hangover.

I stared at him, my head fuzzy and my mouth as dry as a desert. This seemed to make him impatient.

"Well? Say something for fuck's sake."

"Ouuuch." I'm in serious trouble if we don't have any painkillers. I would happily let him remove my arm right now just so my shoulder would stop hurting.

"Yeah no shit 'ouch'. You probably fucked up whatever good those antibiotics had done you so I gave you some more while you were passed out. There's some Vicodin in that pack if you wanna take the edge off." I nodded grumpily and rifled through the bag for the pills, knocking one of them back with the water he passed me.

"Where's Remi and Michonne?" I asked, chugging the rest of the water.

"They went on ahead to scout out the roads, see which ones are clear. And I figured it wouldn't hurt none to drive a little slow so your shoulder didn't get more messed up with bumping it around."

"Uh thanks. So…we've just left everyone else there at the town?"

"I guess we did. I figure Martinez will step up and they'll be about as safe as they were before, just under someone who's not batshit crazy."

"I hope they don't turn on Milton for helping the Governor."

"They can't without turning on themselves; we all were in bed with the damn devil and ain't nothing we can do about it now except what's best for us."

"Is this what's best for us?" I was curious as to what he thought we were heading for, literally and figuratively.

"I reckon. Even without whatever kinda crazy the governor turned out to be, I was gonna be leaving anyway. Remi weren't staying, and he's about the only person sides you and Michonne I've come across that I'd trust to have my back one hundred percent. We'll try this prison up yonder. If that don't work, the four of us'll keep going 'til we find somewhere that does."

"I'm touched." I chuckled. "Remi, though, huh? Got a little bromance going on there?" I teased him.

"Ah shut it. You know what I mean. This world makes suspicious sons of bitches of all of us. We find someone we can trust, makes sense to stick with 'em. Although…speaking of…you ready to talk to me yet?"

"About what?" I avoided his gaze.

"You know damn well about what. About you and me." The uncomfortable way he shifted in his seat told me just how alien this territory was to him.

"There is no me and you." I didn't catch all the swear words he muttered under his breath but the ones I did catch were pretty impressive.

"Yes there fuckin' is! Whether you like it or not, there is, and it's about damn time to quit beating around the bush. Now I may have been shit at showing it, and I'm not a hearts and flowers kinda guy, but I got you in my head and my heart and it's some powerful shit, more so than this whole end of the world we're having. I figure least you owe me is a little fuckin' conversation."

"It's not so straight cut and dried I can just come out and talk about it. And you didn't help, acting the way you did. I spent the months since we met trying to keep you away from me so you wouldn't…" I pressed my hand flat over my heart, trying to hold myself together.

"Hurt you?" I met his eyes briefly then looked away again. That deep, fluttering ache in my chest was starting to get out of hand. He was scaring me to death, and not because he was an intimidating sonofabitch. "Is that why you were drinking?"

"I think…I think I was trying to kill you." His eyes widened in surprise. "Not you-you, the other you, the you in my head." I shut my eyes, for once unable to focus on anyone but the Merle sitting next to me.

"Where do you go? When you close your eyes? Who do you see?" I could hear in his voice how hard he was trying to understand. Honestly, it was a hell of a lot more than I'd ever have expected from him. Maybe I should try harder.

"Us. But not us. A different us."

I told him about Hidden-Merle and Other-Ada and he didn't laugh at me like I expected him to. He rolled the idea around in his mouth a few times before speaking on it.

"So why'd you keep pushing me away? All I was tryin' to do was get close to ya." I hated that I'd made him sound so lost.

"Because you are not _my_ Merle. The Merle in my head is the one I…you're not him." I crossed my arms…arm across my chest petulantly.

He slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the vehicle to stride into the woods just off the road, punching the closest tree repeatedly and cursing a blue streak that made my head spin. I cringed when I realised that that had actually hurt him. I got out of the humvee and walked toward him. I wasn't sure if he was going to hit me or the tree again. In the end he did neither and stepped closer to me with a determined expression that was softened only by the hurt in his eyes.

"So…Hidden-Merle is Merle who sees no other woman but you." He stepped closer. "Who would do anything for you." Another step, his eyes burning right through me. "Who will always treat you like he's the luckiest sonofabitch alive just to be allowed to touch you." His chest was so close I could feel his heartbeat jackhammering in the air between us. "Who loves you…" His fingers brushed my cheek and I couldn't help but close my eyes at the sensation. "Who wants to spend the rest of his days with you?"

I nodded slowly, my eyes scrunched tight in embarrassment and my cheeks flaming.

"Darlin'." He propped a finger beneath my chin and waited until I opened my eyes to meet his. "That's just ordinary Merle. And he ain't hidden. He's standing right in front of you."

**Merle POV**

The breath she'd been holding shuddered out in a rush and tears spilled down her cheeks, some dam bursting deep down inside her.

"I'm s-scared," she managed to stutter. "I'm so close to fucking this up and hurting you for good so you'll stay away from me. I don't want you to but I've spent so long pushing you away I d-don't know how to let you get close to me." It was taking everything she had just to stay where she was and not run, I could see that much. She was shaking so hard her teeth were chattering.

"I ain't no expert on the matter, but I reckon one day at a time should suffice." I took the final step so we were touching and reached up to wind fingers in her hair. It was a moment to savour, and time stopped, long enough to take in the smell of her, the silk of her hair in my hand, the way her bottom lip trembled a little, the nick of a scar in one eyebrow, the heart shape of her face tilted up to mine.

"Please don't hurt me," she whispered as the last of her dam broke.

"I'd die first," I whispered back, taking a sweet fistful of that hair and bringing her mouth up to mine. She was sour from the whisky the night before, cheap stuff from the taste of it. That'd be the last time; some base part of me understood the importance of making sure to give her the best of whatever my tired body managed to hunt or forage.

"I taste gross don't I?" If I were prone to using words like adorable, I might just use it to describe the way her nose crinkled a little when she said that.

"Little bit." I chuckled and dove back into the kiss. Not just the kiss but THE kiss, the one kiss that defined everything my life, our life, would be from this point forward.

Her skin scorched me everywhere we touched, and the scent of her seared my senses in the same way. It wasn't just that everything about her was being imprinted on every part of me, it was like I was being remoulded, every inch of me remodelled in fire and ice so that the only person who would ever fit me was her. The little sob in the back of her throat as she grew hungrier in my arms told me that she felt it, too.

"Tell me, Ada." I manage between kisses. I didn't know much about what the fuck we were gonna do now but I know I needed to hear her say it, say it when she knew I could hear her, say it and mean it. "Tell me you love me. Please, honey, please."

"I love you, Merle. God help me I've never loved anyone except you," she gasped, pulling her lips away and resting her forehead against mine. Her fingers stayed busy, though, tracing down my chest to the waistband of my pants. "I know we don't have time but I need you." She hooked her fingers behind the waistband and gave a little tug, her voice becoming husky with want. "I need you."

Just those three words boosted every one of my senses until she was pouring into me; scent, feel, taste, colour, and the sound…the sound of her voice, I would never get tired of hearing it.

"I know," I managed to grind out. "And I love you, too, woman, in case you were wondering, but…fuck…we can't until we're healed."

"But-"

"We've each got an arm in a sling. As much as I don't mind my sex a little weird, it'd be like the world's most painful game of Twister. We wait." This of course didn't stop me rubbing my now very hard cock on the heat she pressed against it.

She looked surprised and then laughed. It was such a sweet sound I didn't even mind that it was me she was laughing at.

"You finally got me begging you and you're gonna make me wait."

"Darlin', something tells me it's gonna be worth it." I placed one last kiss on her lips, then slipped my arm around her waist. "C'mon, let's go find the other two and see if we can't make that prison by nightfall."

It took us a couple more hours of driving around, having to double back and forth when we found some parts of the roads closed off by herds. But finally we rounded a hill and saw a prison complex sprawled out before us.

"Now that's what I'm talking about." I muttered, pulling the humvee to a halt next to the jeep Remi had commandeered. I nodded to him and got out; we'd have to go on foot from here in case they started shooting at us. Didn't want them to know we had vehicles.

"You ready?" I asked Ada, who was less antsy now, her shoulder paining her a little less. She nodded and climbed out after me.

"Glad to see you feeling better," said Michonne solemnly.

"Thanks," Ada said in a small voice, mindful of the enormity of what the other woman had done earlier and must be feeling now.

We put a few provisions in our backpacks so we didn't look like we were travelling too light. Not having much on us would arouse suspicion and the two vehicles were too good not to save if we could. Remi caught my eye with a smirk when he saw my arm wrap around Ada as we walked. I just grinned back, knowing he understood not to tease for now but would hound me about it later once - if - we were safe.

The entrance to the prison looked abandoned, by people at least; large groups of walkers ambled around the perimeter fence. We'd have to work quickly just to be able to get close enough to the gate to see if we could open it. Ada couldn't do as well with only one working arm as she normally would; she hadn't had time to adjust to it like I had. So the three of us made a loose triangle around her as we worked our way through the walkers toward the gate.

We were starting to find their numbers difficult when a shot rang out, dropping one that had been close behind me. I looked up and saw a young woman with dark hair and a large assault rifle. A blonde woman, even younger, was fumbling the gate open while the dark haired one kept the rifle trained on us. I got it, knowing the precision it took to make that shot; she'd been warning us, not helping. We moved quickly through the gate and heard it clang shut behind us.

"The others will be here in a minute. No sudden moves until then. I can and will take out all four of you if you try anything."

"You got a name?" I asked as I cautiously moved between her and Ada, hearing the young blonde woman walk around us to join the older one.

"Maggie. This here's my sister, Beth. You come far?"

"A ways down the road. This is Michonne and Remi, Ada, and I'm-"

"Merle?" I looked up into the oncoming business end of a crossbow and froze. The bow lowered, leaving me staring at the younger of us two Dixons.

"Well…shit. What in hell are you doing here, little brother?"

"I could say the same. Where the fuck have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere."

"Well obviously not everywhere or you'd have found me, asshat," I bristled, the only way I could hide the overwhelming relief that speared through me at seeing him alive.

"Asshat? Man if you weren't a frikken cripple right now I'd bust your good arm. What the fuck happened to that one, anyhow?"

"He cut off his own hand, then I broke his arm." Ada piped up, moving to stand beside me.

"Why?"

"He was pissing me off."

"OK, you, you can stay." Daryl pointed a finger at Ada with a dark grin.

"You were right, brah; he is prettier dan you." Remi chose this moment to open his mouth just to piss me off. I clenched my fists and tried to quell the desire to kill him.

"What about our compadres here?" I jerked my thumb toward he and Michonne, who were observing our interaction with interest. Remi obviously felt there was no threat because his gun was now slung in the waistband of his pants and he was shuffling a toothpick lazily around his mouth.

"They crazy, too?"

"Yup." No point lying and saying they was normal.

"Ah hell, whatever. Get your asses up to the prison. We can figure shit out in the morning."

"Don't you gotta ask anyone in charge if we can stay? Where's the two cops?"

"I am in charge. Rick killed Shane when he went loco, then killed himself after Lori died in childbirth."

"That's…"

"Fucked up? Damn right it is. But we're solid. C'mon. We got food up there and you both look like you need a doctor."

"You got one?"

"No but we got a vet and I always said you was an ignorant pig so he'll do just fine." He turned his back and stalked on up the hill, leaving me trying to decide between rushing him and beating the shit out of him or finding some new respect for the man he'd become. Obviously I decided on the former but was stopped by the hand of a large Cajun grabbing the back of my vest and hauling me back to heel like a dog.

"I like dis brother of yours. C'mon, we all tired. You can beat on him tomorrow." He punched me lightly on my good shoulder and he and Michonne walked on ahead, leaving Ada to wind her good arm around my waist and lean close.

"Or…you could put that energy to better use getting healed so we can make good on what we couldn't do earlier." She smirked up at me. I only lasted about two seconds before giving in with a huff.

"What the hell; I got the rest of our lives to beat up my brother. C'mon, woman, let's find ourselves somewhere to sleep."

We bickered the rest of the way up the hill about whether or not to sleep together or separate until we both had all limbs functioning. Ada won that one, and I resigned myself to sleeping on my own for the next month, not that I exactly planned on playing fair on that count. When we reached the inner part of the yard, I saw the little grey haired mouse from the quarry camp walk up to my brother and throw her arms around him, while he looked between Ada and I with amusement.

He met my eyes and I grinned. No shit, brother, it's gonna be interesting as hell watching this all work out. But one thing's for sure; it's gonna be a hundred times better doing it as family than it would have been apart.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>

**Sorry to those of you who were hoping for an explicit sex scene. There'll be plenty of those in Servitude; this story was more about love than sex. But holy crap, I actually managed to finish a story, even if it is a shortass one. That's a first for me. It's not perfect, but I'm new to writing Walking Dead and figure that the more practice I get the better I'll get at it, so you will get some decent stories out of me at some point I promise. Just gotta bear with me through all the not so great ones until I get there.  
><strong>


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